We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
