But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
