Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think i have herpe
just one?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
