my vag is so smooth its legendary
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
