i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
