4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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