4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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