apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
