I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
