we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
