you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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