I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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