party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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