You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
