Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
...so i touched it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
