Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
