I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
