i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dick very happy bro
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
