There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
