That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize