TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Even my vagina gasped.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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