So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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