she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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