If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
