Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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