READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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