Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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