It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
