I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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