South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That was before I lit my hair on fire
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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