I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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