the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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