I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
