I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
