Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
