Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize