I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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