I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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