So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
