I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
