Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
