You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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