she was so not down for the gang bang
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
