I need to stop coming to work sober
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize