Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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