I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
