OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
