WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
