he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ugly people sure do ruin things
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
