You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
