Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
