I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize