I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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