Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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