guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
