i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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