I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
