either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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