Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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