I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
