i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
